PenSrokes

About Love

2010-01-02T04:43:00.001-08:00

About Love

Some say
love blooms. Not I.
Love is no show staged
but work spliced, scars hidden between
the two

About Love

2010-01-02T04:33:00.000-08:00

Some say
love blooms. Not I.
Love is no show staged
but work spliced, scars hidden between
the two

Senyru Time

2009-12-14T05:01:00.000-08:00

Revisied:
Christmas morning dawns
small feet pad long halls
…eyes light up the room

Original:
Christmas morning dawns
small feet pad long halls
…eyes like stars explode

Lav Chintapalli: Building up tolerance

2009-12-04T12:41:00.000-08:00

Lav Chintapalli: Building up tolerance

2009-12-02T07:41:00.001-08:00

Slow Goodbye

We watched eighteen wheels
rolling up the long curved
rise, our drive, trees we planted,
watered, arching over, now
shadows falling thick,
dense air of sighs.

What remained of our possessions
moving toward retirement,
distant from this sheltered cove,
Weeping Willows dripping leaves,
wind-brushed grass where Holsteins
grazed, unfazed and unaware
of our goodbyes, whispered
to all of them,
the lone great heron,
beavers in their den,
turtles sunning on the shore
once ours,
uncluttered now
our kayaks sold.

Hands clasped, we pressed
for comfort from the future,
then released our grasp
to go.

Changing Places

2009-10-10T16:09:00.000-07:00

Changing Places

he turns the door knob --
discovers she’s too ill
to awaken yet

he’ll take their daughters
to the mall for play and food --
let them find ice cream

In a later life
Mother guides his new wheel chair --
two girls skip ahead

today grandparents
on sideline bleachers --
children running free

Clearing Space at Four

2009-10-10T03:37:00.001-07:00

Clearing Space at Four

so short my little broom
I swished from side to side
pushing pebbles on the path
passing round the bend
beyond their sight

though they feared
me lost
I sweept on and on
at sticks and dirt

beneath my pen today
thought uncoiling free

like that morning
in a darkened wood
I am never lost but
present to myself

Sheltered

2009-10-02T04:48:00.000-07:00

Sheltered

If one memory lingered
it would be the moment
in that rental car
still
on the graveled overlook
where we slid the windows
down
wide open to the sea
breezes pushing in
to our heated space
where skin reddened in the glint
of sun
and sparks broke through
our shield
glimmered over cliffs
to shimmer in the ocean spray
unruffled by our gaze
unstoppable in our pause
in the middle of our lives
where we were
no longer looking out
but reaching
frozen, forever
eyes attending only
to the other.

Accessible

2009-10-01T04:27:00.000-07:00

Structural bones
beneath my skin
halted early,
devious denial
prepared to complicate.

I blamed my height,
the lack of it,
for ladders, missteps,
and not being chosen.

I stretch to reach,
to peek, lean out from
behind the podium,
before I speak.

I extricate obstacles
hope you do not escape
without my image,

a remembrance
of how shortness
climbed into your view.

Time Before

2009-09-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

Time Before

she remembers much
about the years that
followed that dark night
but not much of the
times before
when he owned his voice,
his leg, his arm, the
day, an easy flow

she writes on and on
hoping to conjure
by the inky flow
beneath her pen, the
times before
when shaded coolness
from the sycamore
fell, all gathered round

one summer afternoon
bushel baskets full, of
butter beans and peas,
where she sat watching
his fingers
spread and guide the heart
of her listening to
plop, plop fall in pans

his filling easy
like his Mom’s, his aunt’s,
their voices full of
story passing round
unaware
of the city girl
fumbling with each pod
trying to catch on

Five Short Mako-Style pomes

2009-08-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

(Lunes 5 3 5 and variations)

THRESHOLD

Rest your hand upon the knob
Before you turn
Into the space I’ve saved

SPEED

Speed unchecked increases chance
Of missing out
On days uncaught by you

HATE

Hate persuades a fearful place
Deflates the soul
Then hides grave faults

MORNING WALK

Sun upon the frozen pond
Enough to spark
And melt my angry heart

INVINCSIBLE

Time bestows a wealth of marks
Unwelcome all
Except audacity

Scared Space

2009-08-25T12:20:00.000-07:00

Scared Space

I write
to open space
large enough for silence.
I listen, become present to
myself.

In The Middle of the Field

2009-08-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

The Middle of the Field

I loved Friday nights and football games, played
in cold or rain. Still we twirled and strutted to
their cheers, feet stomping metal bleachers,
hands cupping steam, coco wafting, arms wrapping
round this week’s special friend, as they watched us

stretched out, a long line fronting clarinets,
and flutes, and horns, all stepping to the drums
sounding deep the beat, reverberations,
ourselves believing we were a glorious sight
on Friday nights under lights, still so unaware

today

2009-08-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

over the river
a shimmering dance
....thurnderous applause

2009-08-15T17:23:00.000-07:00

2009-05-06T07:32:00.001-07:00

2009-02-18T10:14:00.000-08:00

2009-02-18T10:08:00.000-08:00

2009-01-29T17:18:00.000-08:00

Stranded On The Road

On and on in all directions
palmetto, sand, and slash pines stretch,
stiff grained and upright, as shadows
fall, reach back the way we’ve come.

Earlier my ocean fervor
imagined us refreshed, a drive of
seaside sights, awash with breezes,
our family fun in salty air.

Still weak from surgery and stroke
he smiles and gestures, yes and no.
His broken language drags, murmurs
to my suggestions like this ride.
Wrapped in grandma’s fragile arms
our baby, six months old, sleeps on,
while her five-year old big sister,
face pressed to pane, pleads, Mom take me.

Edgy, one thumb extended, I
stand the length of desolation
begging to be taken, when
a camper driver brakes his speed.

I force my anxiety to run
from our stalled car, the four of them,
their eyes searching, wanting
me to come back real quick.

The camper couple cleared a bench,
drove east for miles and miles, while
I measured minutes, some desires
to flee responsibility, my world
there, waiting for a wrecker.

Today, I remember them,
that mechanic, crawling,
patience, and the damaged parts,
those rescuers leaving me
alone to navigate the rest.

2008-07-30T16:37:00.000-07:00

extended

pause

2008-07-30T16:26:00.001-07:00

paused

expansion

2008-07-30T16:18:00.001-07:00

myspace.com/janepenlandhoover

Poem

2008-06-22T17:52:00.000-07:00

Room at Dawn

I awake as light spills in

hear water-splash against the sink

and imagine your attention

to your face, lathered, trimmed

of last night’s darkened growth.

I curl around my pillows

draw yours closer, listen as

your wing-tip shoes brush soft

against the plush of carpet.

“Morning sleepy head,” you say

and lean to kiss my lips as I

rush a smile into your

wide embrace, press my palm

into you’re your tie, yellow silk,

smooth as your cheek on mine.

Ready for your morning meeting, yet

you’re not moving toward the door...

And later when you’re late and gone

I think that if I have a million

days and ten million nights

I will still want more of you

Feel forever, yellow on my skin.

poem

2008-06-22T13:07:00.000-07:00

Third Grade

The ring-a-ling resounded, announced
commencement of the day and
cessation of their conversations, time
for the repeated early morning ritual.

Past the sound resolving in the air
and the scraping of the teacher’s chair
as Ms Sparks rose to lead her children
in the pledge of their allegiance to
the flag, there was a silence --
connecting
them to what had come before, to
what brought them in from the cars
the buses, or their own two feet padding
down the streets and up the final rise
of hill to doors opening into dusted
hallways and their desk filled room
where
no one spoke a word or coughed or even
thought to poke his neighbor now
but stood silent, ready to recite
imagining every other child in every
school across the land and around the
world standing through this time, their
imaginations big with pride and words
they were only learning then
like liberty
and speaking out, and being counted, maybe
sitting in and pinching pennies to be thrifty
drawing ever nearer to a bigger word
like patriotic
with its magic musical conclusion
sung into the humming air
of morning unison.

Poem

2008-06-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

Deep Waters

the two who had not, until

that morning, faced much of a challenge

in their seven years, passed so fast

from hello until this day, three months beyond

surgery to make his heart whole, pump smooth

and now this interruption, stoppage in the brain

driven by the ambulance into wakeful panic

delivered through the night to unfamiliar days and years

the two draw sustenance from their well of promises

Poem

2008-06-17T12:54:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day Pearls

Warming
Stove turned to bake
Mother’s floured hands pat and stuff
Apricot pies
Fragrant

You sit
In the bleachers
Bundled warm against cold
Watch as we twirl, march on the field
So Proud

You hold
The wheel, driving
Everywhere a child goes
You know the precise direction
Steering

In your
Hands a Bible
You read aloud, show us
What it means to think beyond, lift
Prayers

You two
Work unified
Raising girls or cooking
Kneading kindness, soft words between
Lovers

You, home
Tranquil, alone
Listening on the phone
Savoring each girl’s voice speaking
“Mother”

I sit
Distant, smiling
Missing nothing today
Memories of Mother, talking
Pleasure

Poem

2008-06-17T12:52:00.000-07:00

Home Place

two block sufficiency, that corner

centered in his grass, the red brick house

shaded by the shelter, his great water oak

supported by words spoken soft, their style

nourished from their garden by his love of cooking

sweetened by her pies, apricot and lemon specialties

taught by life lived in sight of a sustaining view

delivered to ourselves in the presence of clear faith

two block sufficiency, that corner

Poem

2008-06-17T12:48:00.000-07:00

Passed

The tall grasses
fluid in the morning breath
are gone
mowed down
while I slept
or wrote
or failed to walk
the afternoon gone to dusk so fast
yesterday
irretrievable
today
this barren hillside
that secured the pond
once sheltered two lithe fawns
a white-tailed rabbit
and a host of crickets.
This shimmering field
that lifted finches to their song
charming snake and lizard on their slither
this embankment
now left to hold alone
against the press of water
wanting to escape
empty into beyond
not stay
where the comfort of companionship
had been wiped clear
by rotational stroking
stripping life and sound
leaving
only stubble and this
awful silence.

Poem

2008-06-17T12:37:00.000-07:00

Release

I uncurl my fist
and watch years drop
slow and soft
my view of you
drifting
with each current
rearranging more than
air and skin

I uncurled my fist
in the midst of
love
ever present
smiled

Poem

2008-06-17T12:34:00.000-07:00

Fall Treat

In the din
of ferment
fruitcakes bask
insidious rum
faint and subtle
seeps slowly
filling damp
dark space
swelling cake
inflection sweet
this juicy
fall
indulgence

poem

2008-06-17T12:31:00.000-07:00

Hello Chicago

There in that city
Standing tall
Rounding corners on our way
To everywhere we had never
Known before we failed
To extinguish all that
Fire beneath our skin.

There it began and
Never ended
Not even after all the cities
On the tour of years and tears
Our resurrected recollections
Buried, live forever
Aglow, without regard for
The future, the wind, or wonder
Always the other in our skin.

Hello Chicago

Poem

2008-06-17T12:28:00.000-07:00

Dreaming Solace

In the back woods of the sleepy bed
where silk sheeted solace waits unborn
downed pillows dream uncovered, bemoan
their paired duality and doubled monotone
there is a trace of place some say was lent

In the back woods of the sleepy dream
where lent enters unbidden, waits unborn
downed pillows dozily dream uncovered loan
in paired duality and doubled rhythmic monotone
there etches sketch the images of magic musing

For succor finds provision in this wooded place
the resting sustenance pressing coming day
dozily places trace themselves some say
to expose the wonder in the power sought
of time beyond the day and years and cloth

Woven treasure, silk spun lengths of lightness
over weathered wooden sleepers under stress
letting go, traced place erased, making space
feathers falling energized and weightless
going now alone, no wind needed for this chase

Through velvet dreaming smoothing out
entanglements of thought once caught
snagged and lost in spite of what was sought
until weariness won relief in down drenched
dreams restoring in and through the core

As snores ascend the ache of place and trace
a new beat multiplier harmonizes time and
rhythm, unifying and uncovering what has grown
no longer loaned but owned inside the chromosome
building quilted comforters, two selves now known

janepenlandhoover

Poem

2008-06-17T12:21:00.000-07:00

Beneath

There, just beneath the shadow

Of the ancient arching bridge

We met, all the forces chasing

Rushing us toward

Imagined shelter

Where we might dig in

Pretend

Defending

An older stance

Given up, replaced with

Some position mightier

Than fighting off

Surrender

When the pounding rhythms of

Fierce scheming rose

Drew near our shadowed space

We’d touch

And hold

Steal one last look before

Release

Then close our lids and disappear

Become breath climbing

That curving space

Beneath the arch

We Two

Poem

2008-06-09T04:33:00.000-07:00

(From: Beyond the Reach of Shadow)

Uninterrupted

It was

same old too tired

night till I awoke at

six instead of usual three.

Imagining enough

I stood right up

refreshed

Poem

2008-06-09T04:30:00.000-07:00

(From: Beyond the Reach of Shadow)

The Mystery of Space

Our home was brand new

That March day we moved

Into so much spaciousness

Only our bedroom full

Early couple acquisition.

We thought we had it all

Did until seven Februarys

Later, stroke turned us in

Covering our wealth of plans

Then locked the door to

All that once had been

Leaving us, a new day

Unknown, unthinkable,

This new state, me standing

Him unable, no walking

Speaking, only chaos

Swirling round, thickening

Mess of meaning breaking

We’d have to fight some

Fancy dragons, gain again

Our treasure, refuse to embrace

This nightmare’s terror

Escape somehow, crawl and crawl

Pull each other from beneath

The weight, effect one step

Awakening each day to

Desperation, overwhelming

The unspeakable disconnection

Of engaging

Rearranging

Home and work

That wealth of plans

Until

One September day

All done, dragons mostly tamed

Forty years

Of much more than wandering

Though that too

All through

We moved into a smaller home

Made spacious by what was let go

And

New days coming

One and then another.

Poem

2008-06-08T03:40:00.000-07:00

(From: Beyond the Reach of Shadow)

Union

Left, right
we walk along
in what once eluded
unconscious of our brilliance
what actually happened long ago
between
what I let go
what he received
ascertained so clear
always and forever say
“Stay here”

Poem

2008-06-06T17:39:00.000-07:00

(From: Beyond the Reach of Shadow)

At Six

I overheard the neighbored reprimand my Dad,
“Those kids playing there
will ruin your fine lawn,” he said.
I watched my dad’s laugh resolve misplaced concern
“Bill, we’re not growing
grass, we’re raising girls.”
I didn’t hear what followed only knew that I stood taller
Us there, in the shadow of
my Dad’s big oak tree
my bare feet stained comfort
me, at six

Poem

2008-06-06T17:15:00.000-07:00

(From: Beyond the Reach of Shadow)

Mortality
The day held by the regularity
of minutes, one following the other
none retreating or competing
only constant motion
round and round
until the crash
broadcast
the giant cedar had been struck
and was falling down and down.

None of those surrounding
could impede enough
arrest the loss of this one
now vacating its ground
anchored there so long, now
exposing the midnight sky
above
the forest floor holding
this one that would not see the
the lake-blue sky of morning
light coming with the dawn
to grow those still standing, their
time not finished running down.

Poem

2008-06-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

(From: Beyond the Reach of Shadow)

Leaving WillowWood Cove:

Adieu

Holding hands we lingered,

watched the big rig make its move

through shadows, round the curve

toward our new dwelling,

distant from this time,

this sheltered cove, this pasture

where ten Holsteins graze

unaware of our goodbye

whispered

to all of them:

the long great blue,

beavers in their den,

mud turtles lounging on the log,

fat geese honking as they splash to flight,

leave waters rubbing at the shore

once ours.

Light running low,

we squeeze hands tight before

we release our hold

to go.

Poem

2008-06-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

(From: Beyond the Reach of Shadow)

What if...

…it’s all too big

too much to say --

what they

have meant to me?

…I can’t describe

just right, those gifts

they each gave me?

… I say it wrong --

my understanding

muddled or mismatched?

What If…

…they are hurt or angered

by the words I say

or the ones I don’t?

…they are touched

inspired, have found

a burden lightened?

… a laugh erupts

as they read

recall forgotten moments?

What if there is only silence?

Are we then safe or just alone?

What if life goes on and on

changing, rising, turning

breaking us wide open

and words

are

our beginning?

Poem

2008-06-06T16:31:00.000-07:00

(From: Beyond the Reach of Shadow)

Double Doused

nothing now

between blues

except empty

simple space

Air

vile volume

mean measure

After

lost laughter

dead dreams

gone games

forever famished

nothing now

Poem

2008-06-06T16:13:00.000-07:00

(From: Beyond the Reach of Shadow)

Firelight

indescribable joy

sitting inside by a warm crackling fire

in time before time

in another world previous

sitting within the circle of vision

not yet extended

not yet apprehended

nor amended

we sit

soft music, candles, and a cup of hot tea

caught between love and reality

content and unspent

red orange the heat, indescribable fire

blue flamed sensations, such solace

the moments secured

before aphasia strangled

before insanity grounded

hobbled

implanted its frozen expanse

unbreakable

except when remembering

former years

too brief

moments almost never known

two lighting the night

their fuel sufficient